She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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