You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
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Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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