I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Randomize