Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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