so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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