Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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