did you get engaged???
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
