He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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