Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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