Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize