Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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