im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Duck Duck Cougar?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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