I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
