She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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