No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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