You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
