if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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