my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
