We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
