he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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