if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
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