one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
