You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
