yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
