Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Less talking, more tequila
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
