found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
the liver wants what the liver wants
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
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