so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
