it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
