Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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