My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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