'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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