I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
