Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
