I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
