my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
i think i just lost a toe
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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