I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
