We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
