you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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