I'm so fucking centered right now
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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