I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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