The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
