I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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