I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize