She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
