I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
