so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
