my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize