Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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