i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
