she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
People with herpes should wear stickers.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
