dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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