Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
