If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize