yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
