Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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