would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
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he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
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we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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