thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize