That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
