erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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