i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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