My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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